You'll love this book................

Coming soon...A Super You

We may soon be able to scale vertical walls like Spider-man thanks to scientists. What other superhero characteristics are achievable for mere mortals?
It's the stuff of dreams, but a spider-man suit that allows the wearer to scale vertical walls could become a reality.

Italian scientists have worked out how the natural technology used by real spiders could allow a person to crawl up the side of a skyscraper or hang upside down from a roof.
Has science finally caught up with comic book, and what other superhero characteristics could humans soon have?



X-RAY VISION
A team of Scottish scientists say they are close to developing X-ray spectacles that will give the wearer "super-human" vision.
So-called millimetre-wave scanners, which produce an image similar to an X-ray and can see through clothes have already been developed. But researchers at Glasgow University believe they could soon use this technology to produce X-ray goggles.
These would emit terahertz radiation - ultra-high frequency beams of light - which bounce off the object being viewed and return to the spectacles to create a detailed image on the inside of the lens.
The waves, which would be fired through engineered crystals to create three-dimensional pictures, pass straight through "flimsy" materials such as cloth, paper and plastics, but cannot penetrate dense material such as flesh or metal.
The scientists say the device could provide far more detailed images than conventional X-ray scanners and allow wearers to differentiate Semtex from modelling clay, for instance, or cocaine from sugar. This would make it a useful tool for policing, counter-terrorism and airport security.

INVISIBILITY
Ever since HG Wells wrote The Invisible Man, people have dreamt of disappearing. But no chemical can turn people transparent, and invisibility has always been considered impossible. Now University of Tokyo scientists have invented a suit made with a special type of retro-reflective material, which acts as a photographic screen.
A camera on the suit takes a picture of what's behind the wearer and projects this onto the front of the suit. Anyone looking directly at the suit would see what is behind it.
With enough cameras positioned on the suit and with the material made of flexible monitors, a person wearing an advanced version of this suit would blend in totally with their environment.
The invisible car used in the James Bond movie, Die Another Day, uses an advanced version of this technology, says Robert Weinberg, author of The Science of Supervillains. The technology may also be useful for pilots, to make the floors of their cockpits appear transparent for landing.

LEVITATION
Step aside X-Man Magneto. Scientists have already managed to levitate frogs - could humans be next?
Wolverine, with his metal skeleton, is easy for Magneto to levitate
Most materials are diamagnetic, meaning they are repelled by either of the magnetic poles. Water is slightly diamagnetic, so it's also repelled by strong magnetic fields. Since frogs are mostly water, scientists have found that if they use a strong enough magnetic field, they can levitate a frog without harming it in any way. The human body is composed of about 70% water so the same principle could apply. The problem is generating the necessary magnetic field to do so - it would require the output of a nuclear power station, scientists say.

LIE-DETECTING LASSO
An early proponent of the lie-detection machine - or polygraph - was the psychologist William Marston, who is also credited with creating Wonder Woman. Probably explains why her kit includes a lie-detecting lasso.
Tell her no lies... The machines rely on the fact that humans tend to have measurable physical changes when they lie, such as a higher heart rate and sweaty fingers. Using electrodes around the body, the polygraph measures all of these physiological changes while the subject is being questioned.
When a person takes a lie-detector test, sensors are attached to their body. Signals from the sensors are recorded on a single strip of moving paper.
Just place those sensors in a lasso and the machine to print out the reading in a handy backpack, and away you go.

Paradox Of Our Time

The paradox of our time is that....

We have taller buildings, but shorter tempers.Wider roads, but narrower viewpoints.
We spend more, but have less.We buy more, but enjoy it less. We have bigger houses and smaller families.More conveniences, but less time.We have more degrees, but less sense.More knowledge, but less judgment.More experts, but more problems.More medicine, but less wellness. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life; We've added years to life, not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbour. We've conquered outer space, but not inner space; We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.We've split the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less; We plan more, but accomplish less; We've learned to rush, but not to wait; We have higher incomes, but lower morals; We have more food, but less appeasement;We build more computers to hold more information to produce more copies than ever, but have less communication. We've become long on quantity, but short on quality. These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; tall men, and short character; steep profits, and shallow relationships.These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare; more leisure,but less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition.These are days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but broken homes.These are days of quick trips, disposable nappies, throw away morality, one-night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill.
Dr. Bob Moorehead

CRASH PACKS WALLOP

I watched this as I had been intrigued by the trailers. But within 10 miniutes I felt it was unraveling a story that felt cumbersome, oppressive and patronising.........I did not think this film, story type, or character portrayal was going to be 'my kinda thing'.

Wrong!!! Crash is perhaps most powerful, moving and thought provoking film I have seen in a very long time. I cannot recommend it to you enough. Despite any pre-conceived ideas...this film will relate to each and every single one of you on some level. If you have not already seen it, watch it as soon as possible.

Wordless Wednesday

Loving this book............

Swinging in the Rain

Hey Girls, don't despair about looking stylish in the rain. Perfect shoes for our ever-changing & weirdly wet British climate - New by 'High Tide', the ultimate wet-weather Stillettos for July 2007. Available in a choice of three colours.
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Reply from 10 Downing Street.

It became an interesting issue to me this MegaMosque Saga .....as suddenly the plot thickened! Read the posted comments from Jeremy Dixon (identity to be confirmed) on previous post - Stand Up and Be Counted.

ScrapMegaMosque - epetition reply19 July 2007
We received a petition asking:"We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to Abolish plans to build a £100 million mega Mosque."
Details of Petition: "We the Christian population of this great country England would like the proposed plan to build a Mega Mosque in East London Scrapped. This will only cause terrible violence and suffering and more money should go into the NHS."
This petition expresses concern about the possibility of planning permission being given for a large mosque in East London on a site near the London 2012 Olympic development in Newham.
Those who have signed the petition and members of the public alike should be aware that Newham Council have confirmed that they have granted no such planning permission or received an application for a mosque as described in this petition.
In addition, there have been no approaches made to the Government in terms of seeking funding, despite the widespread unsubstantiated claim that up to £100 million of taxpayers' money is being spent on this project.
The Greater London Authority has also made a statement about untrue claims circulating about the Mayor of London's involvement in this project. This is available at: http://www.london.gov.uk/mayor/statement_170707.jsp (new window).
Under the Town and Country Planning legislation, local planning authorities are responsible for the control of development in their area. In doing so they are required to take into account all considerations, including the views of interested persons and in particular local communities.
The Government strongly believes that where controversial issues such as religious premises arise, all involved should ensure that discussions are conducted in a manner that respects the views of all sections of our communities and in a way that does not raise tensions in local areas. The Government does not endorse the language used in this petition or the associated emails that have come to light over the course of the petition.

NINE THINGS WOMEN SAY..........

A HANDY TRANSLATION GUIDE

Fine :
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are
right and you need to shut up.

Five Minutes :
If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more
minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

Nothing :
This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and
you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end
in fine.

Go Ahead :
This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

Loud Sigh :
This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement
often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot
and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you
about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

That's Okay :
This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can
make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before
deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

Thanks :
A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say
you're welcome.

Whatever :
Is a women's way of saying SOD YOU!

Don't worry about it, I'll do it:
Another dangerous statement, meaning
this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is
now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's
wrong?'
For the woman's response refer to #3.

Tree Of Life ~ Part 2

This one's especially for you Cuttsy!

Stand Up & Be Counted

I recieved this email today -
I don't know if you have heard about this but Ken Livingstone is planning
to use tax payer's money to build an enormous mosque costing an estimated
£100 million in the docklands. Wouldn't it be better to spend the money on a new hospital or improved transport facilities?
The plan is for the mosque to be larger enough for people flying in from all over the world for the 2012 Olympics to see it.
It will be the biggest landmark in London, bigger than St Paul's, Westminster Abbey or Wembley Stadium.
The vote so far is 56 % in favour.
It looks like the Muslim community in the UK is casting its vote in droves. As so often happens the rest of us are burying our heads in the sand... It is an undemocratic use of British Tax payers money, especially when our churches that are 100's of years old get no Government funding to keep their structures standing, and we are supposedly a Christian Nation.
And this is from The Telegrpah 25th September 2006
Alan Craig, who lives about a mile from the 16-acre site on which it is to be built, is a Newham councillor "I am concerned about the community and security impact of the mosque," he said. "Although permission has not yet been given, Muslims are moving into the area in preparation. The Savile Town area of Dewsbury where Tablighi Jamaat is currently based is now more than 90 per cent Muslim. This part of London has always been a very diverse community and that is how it should be kept. We can't have one group taking over." It is suggested that the Markaz complex will become the "Muslim quarter" for the Olympics, acting as a hub for Islamic competitors and spectators, something that is surely contrary to the spirit of the Games, which are meant to bring people together, not keep them apart. Futhermore, in an irony not lost on Mr Craig, just a mile or so from where the mosque is due to go up, the Kingsway International Christian Centre, the biggest evangelical church in Europe with 12,000 worshippers on a Sunday, is coming down to make way for the Olympic stadium..
To vote to 'Scrap the 'Mega-Mosque', please sign the official Government
petition in the link below.http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/ScrapMegaMosque

Commercial Break

Hi everyone, I couldn't help but notice that my last three installments have been wordless. I have not gone away, and I have no intention of disappearing from view, from sight, or mind or blogstuff, but I find myself in a difficult position. I cannot say much more about life/ my situation/money, or the issues surrounding it because of legal reasons. I find I cannot reveal too much about LittleG due to 'other biological' feeling it is irresponsible. And my free time is filled with working, giving me less time & head space to communicate. Good things continue to happen in our lives but I have reached a stagnant plateau, am feeling emotionally battered, and tired of the personal backstage hassle - I need a break from a long hard year ( 12 months and 7 days) of financial struggle, legal wrangle and domestic issues. I never dreamt that this legal process would still be prominent in my life after so long and I truly hate to see my blog wither.
I intend to return, as soon as possible with new stories, direction, hope, faith and love in and for my future, one full of happiness, contentment and joy. In the meantime, I will add the odd picture that moves me, and I feel you may smile at. Not writing, doesn't mean I won't be checking in to all my favourite 'daily habit' blogs to leave comments!! Thanks for the messages, laughs, virtual hugs and opinions I have received over the last 7 months - I and just hope, beyond hope, you'll stick with me on this one, and keep checking in.
Looking Forward to being Back!
PaulaB&LittleG xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Wordless Wednesday ~ Tree Of Life

Wordless Wednesday ~ Loving this book....

Wordless Wednesday

..................Today I am feeling ~ Sexy, Girly & Cheeky

Top Peer?

Saw this note in The Sunday Times yesterday. It really made me chuckle - just think of the implications!!!
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"Jeremy Clarkson is feeling the hand of history on his shoulder. A demand for the Top Gear presenter & Sunday Times columnist to be installed as Prime Minister has now attracted 11,000 signatures on the 10 Downing Street website - up from 7,600 - although supporters appear to include Harry Potter & Hermione Granger!"
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Simply (!) click here to add your signature!

Civil Unrest

I went to the cinema over the weekend to watch Taking Liberties which is described as
"The shocking erosion of our civil liberties under New Labour revealed in this politicised documentary"
It sounded a bit heavy going, and obviously political, but I was curious after SuperSize Me, (which I have not seen), I wonder if the new message is 'Forget TV Documentaries, these are Cinema Documentaries'. Besides it beats all that war/gun/robbery genre of films I find so boring.

It was pretty grim entertainment, showing us the modern Britian, one Tony has been fundamental in constructing over the last 10 years. It's main bone of contention is that since the terrorist attacks on New York in 2001, (claims director Chris Atkins) "a group of sharp suited PR Men and management consultants called New Labour have stolen the rights and freedoms of the British People."


I must say it has a powerful message, I am always dubious about the editing of documentaries, (and the media in general) and am aware how manipulative they can be so I held that in mind. Some of the footage was disturbing, yet it had many light hearted moments, it was a Blair bashing vehcile BUT in particular the issues of National ID for everyone cards really compelled me to feel that I will be rejecting this as long as possible (right to privacy), and voting against it. The Guantanamo prisoners situation has been going on now for five years and is a disgusting miscarriage of justice, what happened to (innocent until proven guilty)
The film portrays a Britian that has slowly, due to the Police and our legislation lost its Freedom Of Speech. Lost the right to peaceful protest.
The scary thing is that Blair has left us these legacies, which are unlikely to be revoked regardless of future leaders.

This film, despite the obvious slant against Tony Blair does carry a powerful message to each of us about the erosion of our Civil Liberties. If it's a wake up call to someone so normally politically blind as I am, then it's likely to cause a national furore.

Britian's Got Talent!

Day two of Britian's Got Talent, and you know what, it's the funniest thing I have seen for absolutely ages! I do not watch Television very often, not only because I have such a bad reception, but because LittleMan gets the first choice all day, and by the close of CBeebies at 7pm, it's a pleasure to turn the darn thing off, even if Fireman Sam jingles whoosh around in my head all evening. As you know I like to geek online in my free time, and firmly believe that people just do not watch much television anymore. DVD's yes, and on-line entertainment, seem to be more in the mainstream than ever before. In fact the gorgeous 19/20" monitors now for your PC desktops, are having TFT technology added to become multifunctional as TVs too. Britian's Got Talent - is amusing, entertaining, and inspiring. Not all Britians 'reality TV' being offered is not all rubbish, brain-dead, mindless crap. If you get a chance, switch it on ITV 8.30pm every evening this week.

Marvel~lous

LittleG is suddenly SpiderMan mad....Nanny bought him the DVD last week (the 2002 release), and he insists on watching it over and over again!It is driving me bonkers - I have watched this film, and yet I have absolutely no idea what actually happens (???) as I have to fast forward the scenes eachtime until it's an 'exciting bit'! Last night I was giving LittleG his goodnight cuddle, and he was so still, so peaceful and quite, that I started to creep out of his room....then I heard a little voice in the darkness..."Spiderman swings from a web, can I do that when I am a big-boy? I'll be very careful". I would start being jealous of all the attention SM is getting, but then that would make me The Green (eyed) Goblin!

I'm in Heaven!

This week has been a milestone week for me. Long awaited dates coming to the fore.Tuesday saw me at Southend-On-Sea Hosiptal for my Mummy, who had a facial skin graft due to the removal of skin cancer cells (she is here with LittleG and I to recoup, hurray!) and today I have had to attend a personal hearing at Reading County Court (V.long story). Life is progressing, but I feel mentally knackered, so in the meantime here is a picture to make us all smile! Big Love to You All, and Thanks for stopping by Xxxx

Learning Curve

Hurray........I finally had my Dentist appointment today, after almost a month of the whole saga. My new dentist is Dr Sandeep Chopra (Sunni), in Bell Street, Henley On Thames. He was brilliant, and I came out of there with the polar opposite feelings of my last dentist (the non-NHS friendly one who sacked me!). Sunni was indeed of a sunny disposition, he was friendly, approachable, polite, informative and just a 'really pleasant chap'. My mention of Income Support did not send him running to the hills, and he made me feel valued as a client and positive about seeing him next time. In fact I liked him so much I have registered LittleG as well, for his first ever visit to the dentist.

Talking of the little man, I missed him so much over the bank holiday weekend, that I have not been able to stop cuddling him, and giving him unwanted kisses since I collected him on Tuesday morning. He has had another growth spurt recently and it just seems that everytime I look at him he has gotten even older and bigger. On Tuesday, at home he was itching to show me his RolyPoly's (the newest skill he has learnt)and was very keen that I should do it with him.
I have learnt that two RolyPoly's in a row make me feel very very dizzy!

I have also learnt this Bank Holiday weekend, that spilling a third of a glass of white wine onto ones laptop, will kill it, but that's a whole other saga!

Wordless Wednesday ~ Cutty Sark Suspect

LittleTike

Things are looking up, not only did I manage to, (gasp, shock, horror) find a NHS Dentist here in Henley (appointment at last on Thursday!), but I also secured some work last week. Whoopeee. This is great and of course the first thing I did with my pennies was buy Gabriel the bike he had been asking for since January! It was my greatest moment ever!!!!!!! A LittleTikes trike, with a parent handle and a bright yellow carrier box on the back! LittleG was pleased, but I literally skipped out of the shop with happiness! We took the bike for a trip into Henley on Wednesday, to have a mooch around the shops, and LittleG was excellent, as it was the perfect compromise between a pushchair (I'm a big boy, I don't want to go in) or him walking (Mummy, my legs are tired, carry me). But, what I did not take into account was that I cannot override the steering, so we spent a long time going around in circles, much to his delight, plus once we got inside Woolworths, he simply got off and ran around the aisles. However I was able to buy him a super-sonic water pistol, and a SpiderMan rucksack so that made us both very happy indeed!
My little man is with his 'other biological' this weekend, and I miss him very much right at this moment, the house has been too quite without him.
Be a good boy my LittleG, and Mummy will see you real soon. Love You More! xx

Wordless Wednesday

One Trick Pony

It turned out to be a fantastic weekend. Took 'LittleG' to Marsh Farm Country Park, which is a council run working farm. Here he could get really close to animals and play in any of the 3 (!) adventure play areas. There is even a 'Piggery' where some of the piglets were as young as just one day old. Needless to say, he loved it, and had a good out-doorsy,child safe & friendly, relaxed day. Lots of ice-lollies, sand pits, farm animals, tractors, pony rides,painting and drawing, ferret stroking, Guniea Pig feeding and laughter. I found the Farm to be really well maintained, and the prices do'able, even on a small budget. Best of all it gave me a feel good factor as it really does provide an enjoyable yet educational experience for the little 'uns. I would heartily recommend it children of all ages.

RoundAbout

Wordless Wednesday

Baby 'X' - Previously known as Foetus

A lovely friend of mine Rebbecca S. & her husband Patrick, are trying to decide new names for their 'bump', due at the end of September. They already have a wonderful strawberry blonde toddler called Samuel.
I asked them if they had a top 5 list of names.
Rebbecca said " Well, Patrick wants a girl, so he can call her Ella......... then at tea-time he can call them in from the garden and shout Sam'n'Ella "

If you had a pending Cherub, what would be your favourite names?

(Once I actually had a client whose name was Orson Cart)

The Henley Food Festival 2007

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This Weekend saw the 2nd Annual Henley Food festival. Described as " The showcase for chefs, restaurateurs, food & wine. Our aim is to promote and support restaurants, chefs and food producers by providing an important and different platform for them to exhibit, create and perform. Our celebration of food is non profit making, and strives for greater recognition of the wonderful tastes, diversity and excitement of local food"
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. I got to spend all day Saturday immersed in the local produce (including wine & beer), chatting to proprietors of restaurants and finding out which chefs were working where. Although I am a lazy and technically inept cook, I am passionate about food; the combinations of flavours, the aromas, the production of it and especially the aesthetics. This is mainly as I find food so very evocative - so this weekend was of special interest to me, as many of the restaurants and chefs I know and have 'eaten', many of which was during my time writing for the Henley Standard Gourmet Guide (Restaurant Reviews). It's great to keep up-to-date with the Chefs careers, especially as many go on to achieved the much coveted Michellin Stars. Although well represented by celebrity chef's such as Raymond Blanc, Anthony Worrall Thompson and Mike Robinson, my personal highlight was meeting Aiden Byrne again, from Danesfield House, who is now at The Dorchester Grill, Park Lane - his food is wonderful, and he is self described as 'growing up on a council estate in Kirby' he says of his food that it is honest. I would say it's imaginative and innovative. He made an interesting dish of fillet steak with blue cheese and garlic which included a surprising bone marrow wrapped in filo pastry, and described it as 'foie gras, without the heartache'.
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A big Thumbs Up to my talented buddy & bestselling author (!) Morag 'Mum's Stuff' Cuddeford-Jones, who was thre in in action, at this prestigious gig, doing a cookery demonstration for 'Kid's Chaos - having fun with food'. Needless to say she was brilliantly entertaining, with her pasta diamond necklace, and her volcanic Lava Pop!

The Henley Food Festival is only in it's second year, so still in infancy really, but I would urge towns from around the UK to be inspired enough to jump on the bandwagon. Wouldn't it be wonderful if each town, or region, or county also had this diverse way of bringing together people who are passionate about food whilst entertaining and educating it's local customers of restaurants and unique local produce right on their very doorstep. I feel it is economically common-sensical to connect these often disparate foodies in a way that everybody will benefit.

Life in The Fast Lane.........

As I mentioned, back in January, I got caught speeding by a camera (35 in a 30mph), now I had the option of 3 points, plus a £60 fine or to do a Thames Valley Speed Awareness Scheme. I have never had any points, and I like my virgin drivers licence, so I opted for the course. Naturally, I felt the police should be spending their resources on 'propa crims'...besides, it was an open road, no pavements (i.e. no pedestrians), hardly any other traffic, blah blah blah.
Not only did I have to do a 122 round mile trip, 6 hours out day, the course fee was £74...the original fine would have only been £60.. needless to say this irked me somewhat. I had also heard from several people who had attended these course before that they were 'a bloody waste of time'
So, there I was yesterday, like the petulant child at detention, reluctantly signing in for two an a half hours. I sat right at the back of the class, and had a 'yeah, whatever' look ready on my face.
But........Guess what, I REALLY enjoyed the course, felt it was worthwhile, and I can honestly see why I would be prosecuted for speeding, and finally...finally, have taken responsibility for the fact that it's bloody dangerous to other people to drive too fast, especially in a built up areas. I agree that educating people about speeding is more effective than the cameras, and even had a chance to brush up on my highway code (something I have not done for many years). Apparently whenever you see a camera, it is not because it's a useful hidey spot to catch people, but an accident black-spot, often with a fatality occurring there. A few of the more quirky things I learnt were, that a useful way of getting 'tailgaters' off, is to squirt your windscreen wipers! I liked that, plus apparently you can get an alarm clock on the Internet, that links to the weather...if, for example it is foggy outside, then it wakes you up half an hour earlier! Brilliant.
In fact I liked it soo much, I am hoping to be invited back!

Just Passing By Your Blogs

I just want to say a Welcome to my (almost) Sister-in-Law Nicky, who yesterday started a Blog about her family and their lives ''Life, As & When it Happens'' - as has my dear friend Heidi. It's exciting for me, as it means I can pop by as life happens and check in. Its great that I can catch up with people, as I regularly do through their Blogs, see a few photo's perhaps, but most of all - hear their voices. The small things that happen to my friends everyday, that I may have missed out on, the funnies the kiddies are guaranteed to provide. I hope that one day we will all have blogs, almost like individual HomePages and can just pass by even eachother though we may be geographically hundreds & thousands of miles apart. Heidi ''Whirlwind'' for example is in Lanzarote, Nicky is in Essex and MikeyD who commented on my Silence is not golden post, lives in New Zealand. Communication builds Communities.

Wordless Wednesday ~ Power of Collective Thought

Please spend some moments trying the Power of Collective Thought for the immediate and safe return of Madeleine Mcann

Silence is NOT Golden

I have been popping into Incognito's blog - Confessions of a Republican (link on the left) not for political reasons, but because she has a great voice for 'saying what she sees' about anything from Botox, Sarkozy to Mickey Mouse. Go have a look, it will get you thinking. I have found myself inspired her strong, warm and humerous personality and also by some of the other bloggers opinions I come across there, which are thought provoking and self questioning. I realised I didn't really stand for anything. Or do I? What DO I believe in? What stirs my loins, and rattles my cage? Over the last couple of weeks, I realised that the issues that are close to my heart, seemed delicate to say the least...suddenly it fell into place and I let the whole new tidal wave flood all over Alan's blog 'Whoopy's Whinge' http://whoppybopper.spaces.live.com/"

"I am completely disillusions and cynical about UK politics. I mean, what's the point of even getting het up about it? It's such a private battle between 'them that hold the power' that it's like watching play ground one up-manship. It does not seem to involve any of the 'real'population anymore. Our man on the street does not get a voice or a look in. Even the candidates that are deluded enough to think they can make a difference will never know, as the apathy for voting will not help them be elected. It's all bloody pointless, and I for one, would rather, leave the fools to it, and focus on getting 'het up' about other issues. Sod Politics, it drains my energy.
HOWEVER..................I am sick of feeling that I can not say/think/feel anything that may be termed or construed as 'Anti-Islamic'. Well as far as I am concerned, Islam is as Islam does. Now let me be VERY CLEAR.........I am not, never have been and never will be (hopefully), racist, or against any creed or choice of religion. Having lived and worked in 4 different countries for several years, I celebrate culture and diversity, respect others religion, adhere to customs and believe in The Freedom Of Speech.........but hang on a moment, what about MY freedom of speech????????? I feel I am NOT allowed to have a voice anymore. God help me should I mutter that 'I feel like a minority in my own country'...........I am NOT allowed to say that I think the Muslim politics and political climate is actually making me feel suppressed and censored in my opinions. I feel uncomfortable even agreeing that when " A school in Amsterdam has halted lessons on rural life because the Islamic children refused to talk about pigs".........that I thought it was bloody ridiculous.
Well, call me racist if you decide dear world, but I say..."When you chose to live or work or visit England.....Please respect OUR ever decreasing cultural and religious traditions - Because we count too"

Blimey I guess I DID have some opinions after all, albeit a not very eloquent one! But I have realised that if I always sit on the fence, the grass will always look greener on the other side. Cheers Incognito, Cheers Alan for helping me look inside. Another piece of the PaulaBxx jigsaw drops into place.

It's not so Black & White

Oh My God.....I have just found my first ever Grey Hair on my head. Shocking. Ooops I had better stop feeling shocked, as it will only make me greyer. But I am only 37! *she whined* I didn't expect to come across a grey hair on my head for another 10 years. I am so deluded!
And now of course, I have so many questions....'When did the little blighter grow on my previously chocolate brown head?''How many more are there?' 'Will I go grey overnight?'.'Do I have to return to blooming hi-lights again' 'Should I grow old gracefully?' And worst of all....'Is the back of my head grey, and nobody liked to tell me???' If I had it this time last year, I would have simply put it down to stress, but now I can't, as I have never been less stressed in my whole life. I think it must be the same feeling as being surprised with news that you are going to be a Grandmother...you just don't feel old enough yet. So now I have to deal with the whole self-questioning of my own mortality thing. This also means that if I am to do something useful with my life after all...then I had better bloody get on with it!
I have just occurred to me, that actually, I didn't even really feel like a 'proper' grown-up yet. Being a mummy didn't make me feel like a 'real grown-up' after all you can do it as soon as you are mature enough, from about 12 years old for some women. Breast feeding for 7 months did make me feel like a womanly Earth Mother, but in a barefoot, daisy chain girly way. Having held down jobs for 19 years does not qualify me as a real grown-up, I have had two different mortgages but that didn't quite do it and becoming an Auntie didn't even hit the sides of 'feeling old'. But NOW.........I am officially 'mature', heading towards my 40's, without ever having filled the boots of being an 'adult' - I've skipped a whole generation of growing up, and here I am with my first ever grey hair. How did that happen?!

Money Matters

It is said that 'necessity is the mother of invention'.
I found myself unsticking a first class stamp from of an envelope that came through the letterbox this morning(un-postmarked, which meant I could re-use it)...this made me grin at all the money-saving things I do these days that would not have even occurred to me in the past. I immediately wished I could think of more ways to reduce the money worries at Chez PaulaBxx&LittleG
Then I thought,"I know.....I'll ask my blogger buddies....they're a clever, unique bunch!".
Do any of you have a tip or two that you would share with 'LittleG' & I?....A stock favourite, or a new inventive pointer, or a hand me down from a grand-parent perhaps? Any suggestions are very welcome.
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Here are a few of my new and current habits, I want to share in return...
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Johnson&Johnson tinted moisturiser plus baby wipes are standard daily grooming for me now and it has saved a fortune on expensive make-up foundation and make-up removers.
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The light bulb in my bathroom went last week, and as it doesn't get dark until after LittleG's bedtime - I decided not to even replace it.
Besides it's a good reason to actually use one of the many lovely candles I seem to have accumulated over Christmas's and Birthdays.
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I actually use shampoo, conditioner & toothpaste right up until the last possible drop.
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I have returned to my natural colour hair back, saving a pretty penny in high (maintenance)lights every four weeks.
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Shopping in supermarkets at the very end of the day produces loads of bargains that are about to expire.
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Reading the news online means I do not need to buy any newspapers.
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Having not used Lenor type conditioner in my washing machine for aaaages, I have stopped missing it.
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When I ring your mobile phone, I only let it ring about three times max, then you see you have missed my call and ring me back.
Talking of which I disbanded my voicemail &answer machine, so I do not have to call you back!
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It may all seem pointless, and some of it is probably not even economically viable but I actually enjoy saving a few pence, it's become a new hobby, and makes me smile inside. I really believe that children have SO many toys, and such a short attention span for them, that instead of buying for each others children, we should just be swapping them every few months. Recycle is the way forward. I did not send Christmas cards this year, but if you send me one, I promise to recycle it, by sending it to someone else....saving the trees!
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Despite the money-saving efforts I am still currently 'financially challenged' and I am really need some new ideas..........Can you help!

In Search of Adam

26 March 1980 -A woman commits suicide and her only daughter finds her naked body. Lying next to it, a note reads ‘Jude, I have gone in search of Adam.’ Her daughter embarks on a search to uncover a truth and an identity, but without roots and without role models, her search for selfhood is potted with a constant need to adapt and to survive.

AUTHOR INTERVIEW: Caroline Smailes
Caroline Smailes' debut novel, In Search of Adam will be released on 15 June 2007. Caroline's road to publication was an exciting one. After finishing In Search of Adam in August 2006, she launched a website and blog. Three weeks later Clare Christian from The Friday Project stumbled onto it, requested the manuscript and offered Caroline a publishing contract (In Search of Adam will be the first novel published by The Friday Project, which is the only publishing company that specialises in sourcing the brightest talent from the web).

http://www.insearchofadam.blogspot.com/

One Third Of The Year Down...

....Eight Months To Go!
Thank you for coming on this journey with me, holding my hand, lending an ear. I can't quite believe that four months have passed already. It seems we have raced through it.
On the 28th June 2006, my whole life changed overnight, but the healing process didn't start until January 1st 2007.And here we are, 'LittleG' and I, and you.
I still remain some distance away from the core of my being, but I can feel PaulaBxx seeping back into my life, coursing through my veins. I didn't really notice as she slowly disappeared day by day over the last six years. Now the vitality is returning. It's a powerful, uplifting experience and one I am wholeheartedly enjoying. The 'New Improved Formula' which incorporates the 'original' me, and I am holding on tight to all the best bits of the past, whilst exploring any evolving new additions. Losing everything, being homeless and broke has been a liberating experience for me, removing all the self imposed shackles of materialism and self-delusion. It has afforded me the luxury of space, time and the new ability to start to really LISTEN to my heart and soul. Who am I? What do I believe? What do I aspire to be? My life, has become, for the first time in years, truly mine (and LittleG's!). It's a magical, mystical, empowering, humbling sensation.
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So..What have I learnt over the past four months? What has touched me in 2007? I finally really understand that the meaningless, relentless,self-serving pursuit of money, bestows an empty, shallow life. And YES, the best things in life really are free. I have learnt that self-compassion heals hearts. I have learnt that communication builds communities. I have learnt that inspiration, reflection, and dreams brings one closer to oneself. I have learnt that total responsibility can be liberating. I have learnt that being a single-parent is tough - long hours, rubbish pay, crap boss! Yet it remains the most magical and rewarding job I have ever had to face. I have learnt the power of silence. I have learnt that having personal boundaries are essential. I have learnt that we all have a story to tell. I have learnt I want to reach out to other people. I have learnt to embrace the present. I have learnt that if you stand for nothing, you will fall for anything. I have learnt that we really can be as great as we dare to let ourselves imagine. I have recently learnt that I do believe in Karma. I have learnt that there are no strangers - just friends we have not yet met. I have learnt that toddlers will still thrive without expensive toys. I have learnt that 'when the pupil is ready the teacher(s) will come'. I have learnt to trust this Universe and it's cosmic powers to deliver the things we need (not want, need). I have learnt that without (self) love and respect we have nothing. I have learnt that I owe it to myself to release and realize my true potential.I have learnt that I desire a purposeful life, and am striving to make that happen. I have learnt that I love a good cliche! Above all I been shown, that without question, I have the most inspiring, supportive and truly awesome collection of people walking by my side, every moment of everyday. Nine months to go, stay with me.
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The picture above came to me just yesterday on an email from a wonderful, (Shamanic) ex-colleague & friend Paul.D who said this of it...
"I have attached a picture that you may be able to use one day....of Deer.
Deer, as you know...has a great archetypal meaning to many - in this case - it is to
remind us of Gentleness. Gentleness in how we treat ourselves, our loved ones - and our communities....enjoy every moment!".
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Paul at 4 Directions

Wordless Wednesday ~ Beam me up Scotty

Oh, to be in England, now that April's here...

At long last it was here.....The Annual Hambleden Open Horse Trials Weekend. Three whole days of eventing, right on my doorstep. I had been waiting eagerly, as this may well be one of my favourite events of the whole season. Right in the middle of last week, as I popped into Henley by car, I could see that the long awaited bluebells on the Hambleden Estate were finally ready too. A carpet of the most striking, breathtaking violet-blue flowers,further than eye could see. I could not be happier than when wandering around the course, watching the jumping, dressage and eventing. The horses looking resplendent amongst a natural wooded backdrop. A slice of Heaven right here on Earth.

Witches, Titches, Snitches & Bitches

Unbelievable. I have just been flicking through today's BBC News headlines. First this, 'Dog-Fighting Arena Owner Jailed'....then this.......'Toddler-Fight Women Spared Jail'

Unfortunately, this is the standard of daily, stomach churning stories we have become used to reading about here in the UK. But the thing that struck me was the ' It's OK to abuse children, but not animals' message. I mean, really, what kind of thinking is behind this appalling level of (in)justice?
Abuse is abuse and it SHOULD NOT be tolerated, in ANY form.
The four Olver women are so scary that even grown men would be intimidated by this gang of Chavtastic women, let alone two teeny, innocent children, who had the misfortune of being born into this disgusting coven. Fortunately the childrens father (who is in the Army, and had returned from Iraq) saw the evidence on a camcorder, and it moved him to tears. He reported what he saw to Social Services.

My solution would be to use the Dog-Fighting Arena to house the Olver women for the rest of their miserable, petty, cruel, nasty lives - To be cared for by Mr DogFighter, who will 'look after them' in exactly the same manner he did his pit bull terriers. Problem solved

The Monk Who Switched to MobilePhone Internet

I am really really proud of myself today! I did not log onto my laptop until 8pm this evening.Even though it has been whispering to me all day long. Twinkling it's little 'come hither' lights invitingly into the corner of my eye. This is good for culling my addiction, and I have not sinned. This means, I was able to get 'LittleG' to nursery, before their shift breakfast finished, (much to his suprise) pop into Reading to do some bits and pieces, complete in two goes, all my housework, including three loads of washing, and even though I did not quite sort out my sock drawer, I did organise all of our summer clothes, hung in colour order, hangers facing the right way! Before you think that I really must get out more...I even managed a couple of wonderful hours in the sun, reading the current book, The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari. Ahh, the sun and the birds singing. Whilst this is NO major feat, for me it is the first geeking-addiction hurdle crossed, and therefore a Massive deal. I have been known to do 16 hours straight on this very laptop. I even had to uninstall my 'SecondLife' (brilliant) online game, as I realised my firstlife was far less interesting! My only tiny weeny confession is that I did have to check my emails, and see your blogs, check the eventing times for Hambleden Horse trials this weekend,google last nights missed episode of BBC's The Apprentice and even check the weather - all from my mobile phone throughout the day.
Ooops. As I say, one step at a time!
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Your 'I can' is more important than your IQ ~ Malika Chand

Wordless Wednesday ~ Always Read the Small Print

MobileBloggingGeek

Loving the technology! I can't really believe that I am actually updating this blog entry from my mobile phone..about 100 miles away from my laptop...that's cool! This is not, of course, a new concept, but with T-Mobile 'Walk 'n' Web - Setting the Internet free'' is pretty user friendly, plus the display quality is superb, a far cry from when I first tried it on a mobile phone in 2001. On Friday i got a Free Upgrade and chose the Nokia E61, (qwerty keyboard)plus struck a £2.50 (for 10 months/ First month free) with the Web 'n' Walk, so it's worth investigating if you fancy it too. I have been able to see any comments by email first (web-based BTYahoo), and then publish them online. The blogger website is good on mobile devices, but adding pics, can be tough call (still can't manage it), and forget editing the posts as it is a complete long winded nightmare, but over all it's all good. Forget trying to spellcheck ('scuse my errors) Best of all though, I can read all of your blogs from my mobile, and keep up-to-date with how you all are. Other mobile phone use of websites like multimap, Ebay, Google are excellent for content and layout. Still takes a while for pages to download, but no where near as long as they did years ago. Thanks for the birthday messages, I am a bit overwhelmed actually, what with the MySpace birthday messages, BlogComments, texts, cards, alcohol (!)chocolates, and presents, it's been a really really really Happy Birthday xxx and I just want to add a special Happy Birthday to my Twin Brother Lee xxx

PostSecrets

Wow, you must have a look at this AMAZING BLOG I came across, called PostSecrets, by Frank warren.

I found it to be quirky, original, lovable and profoundly moving. Let me know what you think.

"You are anonymously invited to contribute your secrets to PostSecret. Each secret can be a hope, a regret, a funny experience, unseen kindness, fantasy, belief, fear, betrayal, erotic desire, confession or childhood humiliation. Reveal anything, as long as it's true and you have never shared it with anyone before"

To see the secrets go to http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

MyFriends, MySpaced. Geeks & Lifers.

I received MySpace Friends Requests from both Ruthie and Gina last night, within hours of each other, this is something they must have discussed over dinner last week! As you know I love my MySpace - originally just for the random encounters that led me to people whose paths I may never have crossed in real life, but I am increasingly able to catch up with my real-life friends too. The two worlds are starting to collide in a unique way, marinating together. Bringing with it all sorts of possibilities. No need to chose between being a Techy-Geek or a Real-Lifer, when I can now be both in one place. Unlike chat rooms, which I have not used since about the mid-nineties, it is not a faceless, perfunctory communication. The Myspace pages are more permanent, and you can drop by your friend's pages when ever you fancy. To have a page is almost like having your own front door, which you can open up whenever you fancy - to invite people in, or it and be alone with your thoughts.The MySpace IM (Instant Messaging) kit is a good easy to use tool, with the standard functionality of an IM, and worth installing. Although it's in real time, you can send a message for the recipient to collect next time they log in. There is an 'On-line Now' icon that flashes when you are logged in, giving good on-line visibility, making the IM tool even more useful. The bulletin board is a good tool, and downright fabulous if you require some free advertising. For example I am on Jack Johnson's friends list, and he can post one bulletin, perhaps mentioning upcoming tour dates and send it out to thousands of fans with one stroke of the keyboard. Now that's clever.

MySpace is the God of self-promotion! In Myspace World age does not matter. You can design your own page to reflect a little of you, and whilst I can seewhy it is a winner for the teens and mid-twenties age group, MySpace, and it's users do not discriminate. If you do not already have a blog (or two, or three) you can set up one here. It's a home page, communication device, time waster and marketing tool.
A few months ago I read 'The Self Made man' by Norah Vincent, and I really enjoyed this lesbian journalists written feast detailing her year long experiment dressed as a man and diving head first into the dating scene, the work place and lap dancing clubs as her alter-ego 'Ned'. It was insightful, thought provoking and a touch endearing. Just yesterday I had a friends request from Claire Berlinksi, who says "Norah is a dear friend of mine as well as a literary inspiration". Claire has just released her new novel called Lions Eyes, which, yes, I will make a point of looking up now. But that's pretty random eh!..........yet also, my sis-in-law Nicky left me a message this morning telling me that the kiddies had eaten too much chocolate over Easter and she is looking forward to seeing me on Saturday night, so Myspace is great for random encounters or just updates from your friends and relatives! Here the two worlds amalgamate, bringing your virtual friends and real friends together, Myspace is Mynd-blowing and YourSpace is waiting for you. http://www.myspace.com/

Easter Picture Diaries - Part 2

Stayed overnight at the funky Malmaison Hotel.
A former 11th-century castle. Just last year it was
converted into a hotel, having been HM Oxford Prison!


Sentenced to Luxury!



The interior has been kept as unique, yet original as possible

Give me a life sentence, lock me up and throw away the key!

The "Dreaming Spires" Of Oxford

A completely delectable lunch at Raymond Blanc's
Petit Blanc Brasserie
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Seasonal Cycles

Rediscovered the beauty of being out in the open on my bike today. Such an amazing, perfect spring day. Riding beside the River Thames, and observing the water and it's inhabitants waking up to the warmer climes. Heron's standing statue still, Canadian geese formation flying. The bluebells standing to attention, little purple soldiers on parade. Of course with just three months until our Royal Regatta, rowers and trainers were out with taking their paces upstream. The River looked so breathtaking, the colours all around like dancing prisms of light, everything just sparkled. Weeping willows trying to contain their mirth for the joys of the summer ahead. It was great being back on two wheels, feeling the heart pumping, and the legs working it's muscles, all I need now is a passenger seat for 'LittleG', he will love it. Image courtesy of Jack Large.

Theatrical Alchemy

A vivid trip to the theatre to see Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist. I discovered this book whilst I was travelling in India with my twin brother, so I probably should have been in the right 'headspace' for it then, but I found it tedious, and patronising. This is a simple enough fable of an Andalusian shepherd who follows his dreams - it has become a best seller, with over 30 million copies sold in a massive 60 languages. The play was a real delight, and director Dominic Knutton made it sparkle with humour (the book is very dry), and the story did literally unfold before my very eyes, giving it a much richer context. I will not spoil the journey for you, but all I will say is that it is peppered with empowering spiritual and philosophical messages. I wondered why it struck such a chord now, as it left me feeling so cold way back when. I think it is because in 2001 I thought I knew so much about life, that I refused to hear any messages which endeavoured to pull in a different direction. Now in 2007 I have opened my eyes, ears and heart to a trail that starts from inside the mind, a pure gold ramble. I am keen to read the Brazilian Mr Coelho's biography 'Confessions of a Pilgrim' and believe he has penned several other tales. I wondered if you have read him? Did they talk to you in any capacity? Did you discover any truths?.....In fact he is so hip, he even has his own blog! http://en.paulocoelhoblog.com/

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Re; Previous Blog. The Apprentice. I am feeling super chuffed (and amazed) to see that my last weeks 'Katies eyeballs' inkling paid off tonight - gosh it might even be credible!

You go girl!

Lamb, Chopped

The Apprentice kicks off with the BBC editing teams idea of a moral tale. The new selection of 'I'm a Winner!' chanting 'business people' (?) go in for the kill. Hapless Alan Jackson was like a spring lamb to the slaughter. You could see by the early, (and rather leading) editing (AlanJ insisting 'No, it looks like bullying, if we elect a Project manager - then cut to camera, AlanJ declaring he wanted to 'Step up to the plate') that this was going to be a one man butchering. The tale of being a 'nice Northern bloke, who has given up Everything and Wants it badly, just Aint enough'. No, Sugar is out to prove he wants desire, drive, plus acumen. (I do like Alan Sugar, but I don't believe he sees any degree educated, well spoken staff member as a protege - he's scanning the candidates for a vision of himself at 20 years old -but that's another blog altogether). From the official website, and judging solely on the steel, drive and desire in just the pupils of the eyes, I'm backing Katie Hopkins. http://www.bbc.co.uk/apprentice/ Who's your money on?

ToyTown

It was time. Before 'LittleG' and I ventured into Henley this afternoon, I had made the brave, and potentially foolish decision, to attempt our first visit without taking his buggy. This meant I would have to carry his two and a half stone body plus any shopping if he became uncoporative or tired, and worse still I had to keep him out of the traffic. Henley on Thames, can be a busy little villiage mid week, especially when the sun is out and tempting people down to the river. Now, everytime you take a toddler outside, it is akin to letting a whippet off a leash. You just never quite know what is going to happen. We walked together nicely to HSBC bank (although he caused complete and embarrassing havoc for the painful few minutes I was inside), then he had his feet measured in Clarkes (6G), and with a tiny stepped pace, a stroll to the library. Although I was very apprehensive about this challenge, it was I am relieved to reveal, really good fun. Watching the world with him from his perspective 'What's that Mummy?' (about a red telephone box!) Now, I must admit, I did distract him with a £2 'Busy Buses' toy from Woolies, and later a Milky Bar from WH Smiths. He didn't even do anything cringe-worthy whilst Phillip Schofield queued in front of us at the check-out in Waitrose (purchasing a birthday cake). He was, overall a real treasure. Tomorrow he is 2 and a half years old - and I feel really proud to be his Mummy.

A rare moment of competent parenting!

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'LittleG's bathtime presents the perfect opportunity for me paint my toenails, tweeze my eyebrows, de-fluff my navel, squeeze any spots or catch up with magazines and books. All easily done whilst sitting in the bathroom watching over his playtime. Last night, I realised that I have a captive little audience, and introduced a poetry book. By the time he was scrubbed and polished we had explored The Jabberwocky by Lewis Carroll (one of my all time favourites), If by Rudyard Kipling and his apparent favourite The Tyger ( Tyger! burning bright) by William Blake. Not only did he giggle with glee and attempt to copy some of the lines, but with the benefit of reading to such appreciative audience meant that in 'PaulaWorld' I was centre-stage in the West End, being applauded wildly. I'm looking forward to an encore this evening.

"To have great poets there must be great audiences too" ~Walt Whitman

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(Sausage Casserole in the slow cooker by 9am!)

Slowly Does It

Excited with the slow cooker my mum gave me. It's fabulous. By 9.15am this morning, our Chicken Supreme late lunch, was already 'in the pot' - leaving the rest of the day for finger painting and puppets! Just recently I have become more and more fed-up with the preparation, shopping and washing up involved when cooking for one and a half, especially as the half can be such a faddy eater - so this is great timing, as I feel cusine inspired all over again. In fact I can't believe I have only just woken up to the slow cooker genius, I must be about two decades behind the rest of you! Enthused by this new addition to my kitchen, I am already thinking for next week Chicken, Butternut Squash with Peaches and perhaps Lemon Chicken with Sweet Potato. Can I put pasta or rice in a crockpot? Ahh ha, great way to make mulled wine me thinks! For those of you who have been on to this phenomenon for ages, if you can share with me any 'one pot' ideas for my little man and I, that would be fantastic.

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I had to put my friend Maximilian outside this morning. Gone from my life, forever. He had spent the evening before playing unabashed in my sitting room, with a conker. I had really become fond of the little fella, and enjoyed his playful habits and cheeky looks. It was pleasant to have some company while my 'LittleG' was snoozing the nights away, dreaming of ice-cream and lego bricks. We were so compatible, but I knew he would have to go, poor mousey. I miss him already.

No 28 in BESTSELLER CHART

Fantastic news this morning,

Morag's Mum Stuff book has just reached

NUMBER 28 IN BESTSELLER HARDBACK CHART!

Respect! - You Go Girl!!!!!!!

Cranium Collage Collection

Each day as I stretch my wings I can feel my life getting back to what was me and stepping freely forward. Moving closer and closer towards who I now am evolving into. I see old and new colours, poetry, sparkly glitter and striking pictures. There are things flying in and out of my head on a daily basis and I am curious how it is all shaping up. I bought a scrapbook today and I am going to collect, cut out and keep these beautiful things that are speaking to me all day long. Colours & images from magazines, buttons, patterns, quotations, scrap pieces of material, and rhymes. I plan to make myself a little collection of it all - A personalised pictorial illustration. I will be able to open out the huge pages and discover more about who I am and who this new me just might be.

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"Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions" Albert Einstein

Mum Stuff

Mother's Day 2007 is in 4 days time.

This brilliantly entertaining book has just been released. It is written by a friend of mine, Morag. It has sold 20,000 copies already. I would highly recommend it as a lovely, thoughtful and entertaining Mother's Day present for any mother who has children between 0-10 years old. Don't be fooled by the pink cover, as a mother of a boy myself, it is for mothers of boys and girls. It's brimming with silly, practical, inexpensive, fun things to do with your offspring all year around. You can buy this book on Amazon, Waterstones or WHSmiths. I am sure Morag would not mind personally signing an edition, with a message if you like. Here is the synopsis for you

'Mum, I need a gladiator costume for school - tomorrow' 'Mum, I need cakes for the end of term party - today' 'Mum, why can't I have chocolate for breakfast?' 'Mum, it stung meeeeeee!' Mums are expected to have the answers to everything and when they don't, they need to know how to fake it. Mum Stuff gives you the inside track on how to amuse and entertain them without spending a fortune and time-saving tips to rescue you from even the stickiest situations. Plus, one or two fantastic tricks to keep up your sleeve: how about an instant 5ft coca-cola fountain, or pineapples that grow on the fridge? Crafty ideas to keep them happy - and quiet * Making wicked costumes from bin liners and other rubbish * Teaching kids to cook stuff you can actually eat * Kissing it better: First aid for the squeamish * Traditional mum skills - with a modern twist

Morag Cuddeford Jones will be doing a live signing 1-2pm @ WH Smiths, Henley On Thames, this Saturday.

The Beautiful Game

I played football today.
When I was about 11 years old, I was actually banned from a junior league...........for being a girl! In truth I was never actually any good at football, but both of my brothers played for Canvey Colts and they were passionate about it. One Sunday, as usual, I had been dragged along to yet another weekend match to watch them play (I was not to be trusted staying at home on my own, with good reason, but that's another whole other blog story!). Anyway, on this particular morning 'our' team only had ten players (incl. subs) show up for the match. Next thing I know I was in the back of my mums car, being put into team colours, and told I was 'going on'. Now this wasn't as bad as it sounds, as growing up in a football-mad household (with 3 qualified referee's - including my mum) I had been used to a kick-about in the garden plus I couldn't fail to have kinda grasped the main rules. The problem was we happened to be playing a team called 'Mornington Boys', and half of this team were at the same Junior School as me. I remember the long blue socks and the orange shin-pads, all held in place by yards and yards of too tight masking tape. So tight, it gradually cut off the blood supply, making your legs eventually feel like they belonged to someone else. Now, of course the other team just assumed I was going to be rubbish, and were certain this was going to be to their advantage so they let the entire 'But, she's a girl' thing go overlooked. This was fine until we started winning, then there were mumbles that I shouldn't be playing in a boys league. After some discussion between the ref, linesmen and managers I was allowed to finish the match and I am proud to say, I was holding my own. Erm, that was, until we hit extra time. At virtually the last few seconds of the games, I saved with my fist, an opposing teams shot, punching the ball off of the actual goal line. Hurray you may think. But shame of shame I was supposed to be playing mid-field! All hell broke loose. I still remember it like it was yesterday. I hung my head and my (hand-me-down, plastic studded) Gola football boots up straight after that match and never played in a league match again.

But here I was today, in the park, with a ball at my feet, and suddenly the football-magic feelings came flooding back - Ahh, the beauty of 'The Game' was coursing through my veins......I could recall the sheer poetry, the fluidity of movement, the flight of speed, the balance and the power of a precise shot. That euphoria of passing opponents. There I was nut-megging their mid-field. I see the defense looming, with a quick flick, the ball takes flight, over their heads, returning perfectly back to my feet. Dribble. The sound of the crowds cheering ringing in my ears. That split second glance at my target, fine-tuning my position. Only their goalie to beat now. Flick into the air, and as the ball comes back down, I smash a well aimed right-footed volley through the air at 60mph, and it slices like a missile, unstoppable into the top right-hand corner.......GOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLL. *Jumper over head, arms in air*

Is it unfair to score against a toddler????

Time Flies

On the 18th January 2007, this image was published in The Times, Art section. It stopped me in my tracks. I actually tore it out of the newspaper I was reading and popped it into my handbag. It came home with me from Oxford and went onto my notice board in my kitchen for a couple of weeks. I found it again today, tucked inside a book I picked up to flick through. Again it jumped out at me. This afternoon I have done a Google search and can not, for the life of me, find the artist name to share with you. (European Chap).

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Anyway, I wanted to show you, as conceptually, the message is that each fly represents a single negative thought, and the subject is concentrating on ridding himself of them. By the way, the artist is the sitter, and he covered himself in rotten mango or papaya (think?) pulp to attract the living flies. Lots to ponder. I love this piece, and find it inspirational. I hope it speaks to you, as it did to me. I really hope you enjoy it.

MissNomer

My trusty postman bought me conundrums this morning. Two letters, both addressed to me. Both addressed correctly - But am I 'Miss' PaulaB, or am I 'Ms' PaulaB ????

I'm confused. But worse still, I'm undecided. Men only have to deal with two simple titles, 'Master' as a child, then 'Mr' in adult life. Even in the event of tying-the-knot they retain their own original surnames. No, they do not have to agonise how to keep a possibly dying family surname heritage alive. No nights awake, wondering if they should double-barrell.

So, how do I want to be addressed? Up until recently I have always been very proud of being a 'Miss', but now, over 35, it's starting to feel, quite frankly, faintly ridiculous. I intend to get back into employment in the not to distant future, but can you really imagine any astute, prospective boss taking the girly-sounding 'Miss' seriously when compared to an equal candidate with the more efficient, effective, and assertive sounding 'Ms'? And thank goodness I am not a 'Mrs' as they would immediately assume, I had other more pressing responsibilities on my mind; Husband, having children, fluffing up towels. I used to beam proudly at my 'Miss' status...ah ha, see...Nobody was ever dashing enough, charming enough, amazing enough to convince the oh-so-brilliant me to actually marry them. Plus its states "I have never been divorced", which I haven't. Miss America, Miss England, Miss India. The 'Miss' title sounds like a beauty pagent line up....am I the best looking 'B' in my region?.Can you imagine the line-up "And the winner of the best looking surname holder goes to....Miss B---------" It's bloody ridiculous.

Unfortunatley, to complicate matters, I do not even like the vocal sound of 'Ms'. Is it even a real word? Mzzzz, it even sounds silly. Back in the mid 90's I would look at daily work ToDo lists, and just know, that the most difficult client to handle was going to be 'Ms' so-and-so. But that was ten years ago, and now 'Ms' does not have such connotations. To me, and a lot of other people, 'Ms' now signifies, the backtrack to a maiden name after a failed marriage. I am not wildly keen on this either, (why should I imply mistakes I never even bloody made) BUT at least then I will not look like the unmarried mother I am! Touche. Sadly, for filling-in-forms purpose, I do not even have the desired option of being a 'Not Applicable'

So, as when I started down this path of musings tonight, I am (more) dazed and still confused, but not, Undecided. As none of the said titles fit me, the things I wish to declare/ hide, or my current lifestyle in general, I have decided from now on I shall be known as 'Lady' PeeBee.

That'll confuse them!

"When I said I had met my Mr Right, I didn't realise his first name was Always"

It's a Spring Thing

Full of the joys of spring, the weather is getting warmer, the sun is starting to shine itself from sleep. The clocks go back in just a few weeks (25th march) signalling the longer days to come. Garden BBQ's with friends, trips to the zoo, windchimes, the aroma of tuna fish steak in fresh lime marinade, midnight star-gazing, lambing season, Easter-egg hunts, my birthday coming, seagulls and cliff tops, bare legs and spaghetti straps, river-side picnics, bluebells and daffodils, Mother's Day, walks through the woods, a day on the water, the breeze in your hair, country pub gardens, not-quite-so-white bits, paddling pools.......The IceCreamMan!!
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My two favourite questions this week from LittleG
"What's the sky for?" ......&........"Where does hair come from?"

Behind the Scenes

You know how it is....you have an off-spring of your own, then before you know it, a re-newed curiosity about your family genes. Under pressure to pass down the ancestral history, for when said child inevitably asks!
I had an exciting visit from two Aunts, a Cousin and a Nephew this weekend. Bringing to me some paperwork, letters and photographs relating to our family tree which I had started to research. Included was some hand-written correspondence to my Dad in 1972, (from a John Murray B) when they were doing the same.
My relatives were full of intriguing stories about my ancestors. Allegedly I have a Music Hall star Great-Great-Aunt who was actually shot on stage during a robbery (I have died on stage myself, many times!) and another Great-Great-Aunt who was Lady-in-Waiting to the Lady-in-Waiting (Countess W) to Queen Victoria. This Great-Great-Aunt Nelly hand-made a Christening gown, that she showed Queen Victoria, who declared it 'exquisite'. This robe was worn by my Nan, my Aunts and finally my Dad. Unbeknown to me, my Nan had actually grown up, living at The Mansion House, (London Town Mayor's residence) "one of the grandest surviving Georgian town palaces in London" . My Grandfather, James Issac S was the Valet there. It's said that she had the house grounds as her playground!
Keeping the 'In Service' theme running, my Nan became Sir Terence Rattigan's house-keeper in his residence in Brighton, Sussex (Wikipedia: "One of England's most important 20th Century dramatists") It's all very exciting, and maybe some of the older stuff will turn out to be just inherited stories, but great to hear anyway. Such mystery and intrigue!
My task has proved a bit easier as according to Orangehedgehog.com my family & I share the same surname with only 3% per million of the population. This has enabled me to track through various sources, two second (or third, or fourth perhaps) cousins (John Murray B's children), whom I emailed last night. It's strange but nice to think their father (now deceased) and my father were in touch with each other about this tree 35 years ago...and I hope that between us we can update the new additions to our family, for our own Grand-Children to one day pour over. I'm hoping to find for them yet, some poets, explorers and gypsies!
What with Google, Friends Reunited, historical databases, the 1901 census, War Records Office, marriage and birth registries available on-line, finding anyone alive or dead is just getting easier. In the old days, you lost your address book, you pretty much lost people for ever. Or resort to phoning everyone in the phone book with the same surname and initial! Oh, those were the days.
It has made me realise though, that all of us, if we each dig back a few hundred years or so, perhaps just a couple of generations, we will all have stories of scandal, intrigue, celebrity, adversity, hero's or perhaps masked villains in our past.
Who are your ancestors??! Who ARE you really?

Juan & Amal

Is it just me, or have people stopped telling jokes to each other? I mean, when was the last time you really had a real belly laugh in the pub, at work, or even on a street corner simply because the person you were chatting with told you a real rib cracking, toe curling funny bone tickler? Hey, what has happened to the Good Ole Pun, the Spoonerism, the Lymericks? Have our joke telling skills been lost through non verbal communication such as email? We all receive them, every time we log-on, a few funnies to while away the day. Some really are quite sophisticated, we can see .mwv file technology to actually view like a mini dvd clip, or an lickle animated .gif files to make the corners of our mouths creep up. We are all bombarded with dozens of funnies every month. How great is it to be able to of send a joke anywhere in the world within seconds, sharing it with people you suspect will smile. I'm still convinced that humour releases chemicals into our brains, similar to eating chocolate, opening a real birthday card or finding a ten pound note in an old jacket pocket. It feels great, unexpectedly so. I don't think our humour has been lost through emails, or comedy entertainment, I think it has actually expanded because of this amazing technology. We watch hours of comedy DVD, but it can often be an insular pursuit and does it really feel as satisfying as making someone else actually laugh in person, right there, in front of you?I wonder if we take in so much excess information now days, from adverts, the Internet, newspapers the television, that we just hang onto stuff we feel might be somehow crucial, mother's birth date, girlfriends favourite perfume, overdue report statistics, car service due, big scary bloke next-door hates music loud after 9pm, hospital appointments, football results, hairdressers appointment. I wonder if the jokes get sidelined for all this other stuff. After all, why remember it when you can pop a funny from your inbox, to everyone you know, then delete it. Job done. Yet, we still find so much, so very funny, but our ability to recall to mind and then recite a corker is getting more and more elusive. Go on...think of a joke. I can't (wish I could). Can you? .

Let's bring back the art of Joke-Telling !! And share it with those around us, encourage people to remember the 'old chestnuts' and nudge them into telling you something, anything, amusing. Get creative. Use your imagination. Badger your acquaintances with requests for their favouritist ever ever ever joke. Let's start the ball rolling and keep this dying art alive through our human interactions, whenever and wherever we can. And let's face it, no-one does irony quite like the English....do they Darhhling!! ?

Enjoy the benefits and reap the rewards of humour we sow.....and be there, in person, to see the spread of the response. The 'Thinking, thinking, trying to guess your punchline' grin. Then the nervous, starts-small 'is that really funny, is it?' smile. To the 'Ahhhhh, I get it now' glad relief laugh. Then, of course, finally, the long painful groan......'Aww, that's rubbish! I've got a much better one'

I'll start us off....the rest is down to you my friends.

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mom. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds

"But they are twins- if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.

Strategic Tension

Personal note to my family & friends.

I recieved the call from my solicitor this morning

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THE letter was sent yesterday.......................

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"Nothing is to be preferred before justice.” Socrates

Let the battle commence.

Saw Point - A True Story

My 'LittleG' and I were playing really nicely together today like good girls and boys.

"Mummy, you be Wendy, and I'll be Bob" he said. Then he proceeded to get a kiddies red handled saw out of his toddler tool box.

"Look, this is my sword" announced 'LittleG'.

"No darling, it's a saw. Sawww. Sawww" I corrected.

"NO! it's a SWORD mummy" he insisted.

"Gabriel, it's a saw, look there is your hammer (pointing), and this is your saw. Sawwwwwwwwwwwww. Captain Hook has a sword, doesn't he?, eh!" I reasoned.

"NO it's not Mummy - IT'S A SWORD" he insisted, getting visibly upset with me by now.

A fresh approach was required

"Darling, tell Mummy why you think that that is a sword?"

"Because I sword my box in half"

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh now I get it.

He SAWED his box in half. Stupid Mummy.

The Being Good Claus(e)

From Ho Ho Ho to Uh-Oh. Getting worried now. Father Christmas has STILL not replied to my MySpace friends request, this is obviously not good. I figure that if I don't get him on-side now, I will have to be good for the next 10 months. Worse still, what if he doesn't get back to me at all....does this mean no more presents, EVER?? (which reminds me - My twin brother says to his two children...."Yes, Father Christmas did bring the presents down the chimney for you, but DADDY paid for them") I still have a little bit of hope to hang on to though, as according to his profile he has not checked into his MySpace account since November 2006, and I figure he was pretty busy in December, so hopefully he is relaxing on a beach somewhere in the Caribbean with Mary Christmas? Trouble is that when I am good, I'm very, very good. But when I am bad, I am absolutely amazing!!

Popped into Henley earlier today, to visit the library, and had to park all skewiff, on double yellows for a minute, as in the town square, film crews were in the midst of directing the next 118 118 advert! It's been many a year since I have seen such great mulletts. This reminded me of the story, back in 2004 when athlete David Bedford (who??) tried to derail the advert, as he said the 118 twins were 'obviously were styled on him', and that they had 'stolen his image'...I mean, like you would want to admit that! It also reminded me that my mum used to have a crush on Kevin Keegan.

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N.B. Obviously, for legal reasons, I was just joking about the 'double yellows'

Laughing Matters

Ahh, a change of scene, a breath of fresh air. 'LittleG' was with 'other parent' so feeling all foot-loose & fancy-free I headed over to Leigh-On-Sea, in Essex to spend some quality time with a few of the people I care about. I chance to have some fun and relax, setting me up nicely for this week ahead.

BBC Radio2 is perfect on a Saturday afternoon for the drive over. With good timing, I can find myself giggling around the M25. I love Parson &Naylor's 'Pull-Out' which is a sketch show is designed to be like the 43 separate sections in a weekend newspaper (that bit that falls out on your way back from the shop!) It takes a topical look at news, culture, sport, finance, in fact, every aspect of life, resulting in really inspired social and political satire.
It always feel so good to laugh doesn't it, must be something to do with hormones we release I guess? and perhaps chemical brain reaction? I think it boosts the immune system or something like that too....but, hey! who cares. Laughing is so lifting isn't it.

I was delighted that a bit of John Hegley's poems were included this week, a poet who has such great rhythm with his words. This sort of stupid thing really tickes me my funny bone!
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Eddie don't like furniture,
And if you buy him some,
He'll returnit'cha.
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Glad to say, my 'LittleG' was back with me at 5am this morning, time still to cuddle up in my big bed together, before the day really gets started, and have one of our 'chats'.

"I love you more than TWO Jaffa Cakes" he declared!
Laughter AND love....Now that's got to be the the most perfect recipe of all.

All Spaced Out

Having a 'MySpace' is brilliant! It's a warm glow to never open my inbox to a big fat '0'. There is always a comment, a message or a new friend request to read. I really did not know what to expect, or have any pre-conceived notions, and I will try anything once! Best of all, the Dali Lama accepted a 'friend request' from me..and of course we are great buddies now! I find myself chuckling out loud at the thought of this new Good Karma.

So, what's it all about then? When you first sign up, as a newbie, you have all sorts of people who request to become your friend, it actually feels really nice (I had about 32 in 4 days).....but once you look through them, they are mainly bands looking for promotion, or advertisers sending things you 'did not know you needed'. Deflation. So a new tactic was needed........I decided to accept only people I truly connected with, plus collect a handful of really cool sounding characters to become my very own on-line buddies. You can email, send messages, add truly amazing graphics, upload photographs of friends and family, or just send a bulletin to everyone on your 'friends listing'. I have really enjoyed the challenge of setting up and personalising my own page, which is a bit fiddly, but like all things new, it becomes easier once when you try. I am gob-smacked that my profile has been read 117 times already (in 10 days), and this 'Musings' blog traffic has increased to over 210 hits!! That's the power of communication. As for my New Best friends ;-) You can view them on my PaulaBxx profile page (link to the left). My friends are your friends, so feel free to browse them, as I said, they are cool, so they won't mind. I am shocked and surprised that I have actually had on-line communication with some really interesting, sane people, from diverse backgrounds, and different lifestyles, who like me, are just there to express themselves, network and enjoy the creativity and communication. I love the thought that a random page passing can lead me to people I would never have met otherwise. Reaching out. It's an interesting concept. I have found it to be a really positive and eye-opening experience, and if , like me you enjoy geeking on-line, and stumbling across new people, I would recommend it without hesitation.

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Just yesterday I sent a friend request to the one and only Santa Clause, (yes, really) and am awaiting a Yes or a No from him. Ho!Ho!Ho!

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Here is a poem, from my 'new friend' Stu.

When your last kiss is their last breath

As their will fades with approaching death

You did not fail them,you did your best

Your good was GOOD ENOUGH.

When tears fall as your child cries

They will look for healing in your eyes

And you cannot allay their painful sighs

Accept your good is GOOD ENOUGH.

Do not try to explain to those who doubt you

Let them live their lives without you

When they turn and walk say no goodbyes

Believe your good was GOOD ENOUGH.

The time will come with tables turned

Full circle now with roles reversed

YOU are the one, they've loved and lost

KNOW THEIR GOOD WAS GOOD ENOUGH.

Stu-2/dec/2006

Mirror Mirror, On The Wall

I wonder where we get our preferences from? Certain things just seem to talk to me for no apparent reason. I have no doubt, it is the same for you. Why does The Art Deco period touch me so? Why is it that sounds of the Spanish language make me happy? Why would I prefer Tinkerbell to Mickey Mouse? and for that matter why do I want to believe in faeries!?? Does my love of wordplay stem from elsewhere? I could eat Peking Duck everyday? Why do I adore Angel perfume? Or a Chablis wine? I know there are logical answers for all of this, but often there is just no obvious connection between what we may be individually drawn to. Some people love Germany, or America, or Outer Mongolia, but may never have even been to these places. Lots of people are drawn to World War history, yet were born long after. Some of you will feel profoundly at home when you are close to the sea. Some of you will think spirituality is complete twaddle, and some of you will whole -heartedly embrace the entire concept. And what of those seemingly more simplistic things such as, favourite colours, lucky numbers, prefered types of animals, not forgetting the insanely difficult decisions of names for the brand-new babies born to us?

Are these preferences things that reflect an experience from a previous life? Maybe things appear to us in our dreams, and we recognise them in real life? What if our ancestors had connections to these things and it becomes part of our individual DNA patterns throughout centuries of generations? Is it that somethings are just written on the inside of our heart from the moment it starts beating ? Why is it when we find these things, they mirror what is already within our soul, they make our heart skip and sing? Perhaps some things are just meant to be.
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There is no such thing as chance; and what seem to us merest accident springs from the deepest source of destiny ~ Friedrich Schiller (1759 - 1805)

Hot Gossip

No better tonic, than a night out with the girlies and a glass or two of wine to make me giggle! Why is it always such a pleasure (and such a cliche) to sit around and gossip, gossip, gossip? Talking about typical girlie things of world wide importance like, accessories, clothes, iPods, sex, Desperate Housewives, love, books, men, families, babies, relationships.
And, you know what? Despite rumors to the contrary, men gossip just as much as women. According to a recent 'Mental Health' journal social psychologists report that gossip is beneficial in creating lasting bonds. It has been shown to:
1. Strengthen relationships between friends and work colleagues
2. Reinforce shared values
3. Offer increased feelings of "connectedness" and community spirit
4. Offers a sense of status by being included in the "gossip circle"
5. Gossip can even help ward off depression.
Half an hour over coffee listening to the dilemmas of a third party can be enough to make you realize that things aren't quite so bad in your own life after all. Gossip also gives us a feeling of belonging which boosts our self esteem and increases our sense of wellbeing. Gossiping about the lives of people who seem to have it all, like film stars & celebrities, also reinforces the idea that fate can deal a bad hand to anyone, despite beauty, money, and fame.

And to think, we were just gossiping for the sake of it, I mean..really, would we?!!!!!!!

Spring into Summer

I wonder if the snow we received just a week or two ago, cleared away the winter, the final dusting of snap-cold winter beauty.

I can't help loving this time of year, just before spring really opens its eyes. Can you feel it???...Spring, already stretching, with a long lazy yawn, getting ready to play with our hair in the breeze, and soft little kisses of sunshine cheekily peeking out behind the clouds. Ahh...the promises of the year ahead. Spring is a time of re-birth, of new hope, of new beginnings. Everything seems to come to life, and come out of hibernation, wide eyed and smiling.

The first day of spring was once the time for taking the young virgins into the fields, there in dalliance to set an example in fertility for nature to follow. Now we just set the clocks an hour ahead and change the oil in the crankcase. ~E.B. White.

Maid in Oxfordshire

Ahhhh..at last, a day to myself to contemplate my navel, write a poem, paint a water colour, plan a four-course dinner party for 8, write a chart topping song, eat champagne truffles.....if only! Where has all our thinking space gone?? As John Lennon said

" Life's what happens, while you're making other plans".

Bloody housework, I mean, what's all that about, we scrub & clean & tidy....then really quickly, it all needs doing again. Ground-hog day. I find that the trouble with living alone, is that it is always my turn to do the dishes! Surely, there is a better solution?? Why is it, that we can create designer people from DNA and embryos, yet are still dusting the windowsills. I just don't get it? OK, I admit, I did have a cleaner for 5 years, she was super-sonic but you know what, despite my bitching about the cleaning...Maybe, I secretly quite like it! Once I have finally stopped procrastinating (erm, this blog, being a good example!) I will open all the windows as wide as possible, give the cottage have a breath of fresh air, allowing the outside world in. This is when living in the countryside really comes into it own, the quiet, the birds, the moo's of the cows, it's quite lovely. Why is it you get a real sense of achievement with doing something so simple? The balance, calm and goodliness's of having a clean fresh home, eradicating the mess that somehow gets trapped in your brain, turning your thought into scrambled egg.

But first, I am just going to read the paper, make some bread, decide on next years Christmas Presents, enjoy a shower, write a poem, make up a good name for the puppy I don't have, telephone some friends, re-design the kitchen in my mind, write a few more emails........and eat some champagne truffles !

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"You cannot plough a field by turning it over in your mind" ~Author Unknown

MySpaced Myself

MySpaced me today

Link added the link on the left.

I think I may be addicted to a virtual life

3 email accounts, 2 blogs & a MySpace

My name is PaulaBxx and I have an problem

Help Me.................................................................

Walking in a Winter Wonderland

Winter Wedding November 2009.

My very own twin brother Lee & his fiance Nicky came over to the cottage Sunday to stay overnight with 'LttleG' and I. Our boys all played non-stop, running, jumping around and generally exhausting themselves......leaving Nicky & I free to gossip, Google and start to imagine the plans for her winter wedding! By the 'close of our crucial business' we had found several stunning princess dresses, sublime flowers, fairytale hairstyles and much much more. "But Paula, it's years away", Nicky kept reminding me, but SO?? It's fun to fantasy shop, anyway it's like football to men, its such fabulous girly bonding stuff!! ......... then, to top my delight, I felt surprised and honoured to be asked to be their bridesmaid! Hurray, plus I now have a legitimate excuse for purchasing beautiful new shoes, and a thoroughly romantic dress. But, oops, hang-on a minute - that will be, three times a bridesmaid for me now though ...and we know how the saying goes...

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"Love is moral even without legal marriage, but marriage is immoral without love"

Ellen Key

Weir there's a will...

Glorious, glorious February weekend weather. Meandered over to Hambleden Lock on The River Thames, with it's historic watermill - which I have the fortune of, just a two minute walk from this cottage. I love the random sounds and movement of the water, and today brought sparkling reflections from the sun. It is a place that has become very special in my heart these last few months. Xx
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Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better. ~Albert Einstein

***NEW** Breaking the Silence Weblink Added

I feel very incredibly strongly about breaking the silence that surrounds Emotional Abuse and Domestic Violence. I genuinely feel I have gained an insight into the emotional vulnerability created and want to support people through this and help them take back their own identity and use their strength and re find inner courage to cope. I fully understand the complications of living within this situation, being financially dependant, whilst having young children to support and protect. There ARE solutions, options and choices. Research clearly shows a typical pattern of abuse. It usually does not start until you are dependant, emotionally, financially, usually living with the abuser... it often takes years before it starts. You just DON'T see it coming. I will include a 'red-flag' check list on B.T.S, to help if you are wondering at earlier stages of a relationship if abuse might be lurking in the background.

LISTEN to your instincts. I ignored mine. If you or somebody you know are suffering in silence, please go to my Breaking the Silence link on the left of this page.

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As an ex-Samaritan, I offer one-to-one confidential support. Whilst I will not even try to tell people what I think they should do, or when, ( the answers are all there, in their own hearts), I will certainly listen without judgement, and help them accept the reality of what is happening (reducing feelings of isolation), and tailor make a network of local support, whatever the location- plus share the tools to find a way out from the darkness. I have gathered along the way a wealth of credible resources, experienced professional contacts, recommended readings plus advice on how to keep you and your children safe in an emergency. My B.T.S website, will be updated as I go along, and it just a starting point, but in the meantime............ please do not hesitate to contact me directly on paulabxx@googlemail.com

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"If I can give comfort and hope to even one other woman, man or child suffering the nightmare of living and coping with emotional abuse and/or domestic violence then my experiences shall not have been in vain". PBx

Shine

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of Your own God.

Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory that

shines within us.

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

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Channels 4's 'Child Genius' series started last night. Why does being a child genius often mean you are also dis-jointed from your peers, a bit out-of-sync with any tangible child reality and have to spend tooooo much in the company of adults?? A young man called Dante had peeked - at just ten years old, he has a tendency towards depression. His parents felt his genius was occasionally a blessing, but often a curse. They just wanted him to be happy. I liked them. An intelligent high-IQ child, may bring them moments of feeling exceptionally proud, but a happy, and well-adjusted son, will bring them both a lifetime of Joy. My heart went out to this nice couple, I mean.....could you feel any more helpless, than when knowing your own child suffers from depression??

It did make me feel guilty enough though (!!!!!) to spend more time than usual throughout today interacting with my own LittleG. We love The Hungry Caterpillar book, The Gruffalo books and we read also read for the first time a 'Mr Men' book - Mr Bump today. The fail safe Play-Doh came out again, and we put together several jig-saws; fire-engines, animals and police cars (boys stuff....I like fairies & princesses personally!). As an average parent, I often wonder If I am doing enough for my child. Where is the balance between not enough one-to-one attention and spoiling your child by being available every moment of every day and every night?? But I do appreciate having this time to really watch LittleG's mind developing, I love his delight in our playing together. I feel lucky to have this time to being able to spot the differences each day brings to his expanding and inquisitive mind. It's great to watch his little face change when he is thinking, or sleeping, or when something unexpectedly makes him giggle. All was going well until he asked me......

Mummy, what noise does a giraffe make?? .....Ermmm

Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!

" The fire is slowly dying,

And, my dear, we're still goodbying,

As long as you love me so.................

Let it snow!lLet it snow! Let it snow!"

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As you can see it's so incredibly pretty here

at home this morning - like waking up in Heaven Xx

Beyond Blonde

Dramatic changes of hairstyle and /or hair colour is often an outward physical sign of change, be that a change of heart or a change of circumstances. Symbolising an inner desire to move even further away from the past, be it an event, a person, a feeling about oneself or a culmination of everything, - then to move forward with a fresh braver outlook, and new shinier hair! Yesterday, I decided to finally 'ditch the blonde' and I am now a (chocolate) brown woman - for the first time since 1985. Another piece of my new 2007 jigsaw in place.



"Gather ye Rose buds, while ye may...''
If I were to equate my lifespan to just One Calendar Year
today would be the 23rd May.

Adore Couture xx

Just returned from the pretty historic town of Winchester for the weekend, staying with some good friends 'TheBirminghams' for red wine and gossip! They are such a warm, genuine, fun, relaxed couple it is always a real pleasure to spend time with them.
Debbie is my LittleG's Godmother along with Yasmin (Ruthie Roo 'declined the official honour!' but still actually treats G like a Godchild) Martin is the chauffeur for Shepperton Studio's and gets to ferry around movie stars and directors, he is currently working on two next big thing children's movies 'Eragon' & 'Eldest' by Christoper Paolini. Debbie is a talented, fully trained milliner, who produces such amazing creations, she tells me that they just 'float around in her head' (and on top of other peoples' eventually!) To see some more of her gorgeous work, or to own some couture millinery of your own, use this link. http://www.headstronghats.co.uk
Now to the apparent controversy of mentioning my LittleG's winkle on my blog - Ooops, seems some people are not too comfortable with that, so just to let you know it's not all about his winkle - he now does his Poo in the 'big' toilet! Toooooooo much information?????


A gorgeous, brilliantly funny and very original 'mummy' friend of mine is just releasing her New Book...'Mum's Stuff ; Because Mum knows Best' by Morag Cuddeford-Jones. It is available already at Waterstones and on Amazon and here is the book info - Straight from the authoress herself....Aimed at mums, aunties, grans … anyone faced with keeping the kids entertained and who can’t face being fleeced for trips to theme parks and the Disney store. It’s got everything from exploding Diet Cola fountains to peeing on jellyfish stings: fact or fiction (actually, both). Forget the new contented whispering fantastic babynanny - this is the real parenting manual. Actually no it’s not. I hate parenting manuals. This is just a collection of bonkers things that you can do to keep the kids out of trouble and out of your hair. And that’s what it’s really all about, isn’t it? This book really would make a brilliant Mother's day present! And if you do decide to purchase for yourself or a loved one........ we can of course will organise a personalised signed copy!!

Boys will be boys............

My 'LittleG' was sat naked from the waist down (potty training stuff) on my lap yesterday early evening to drink his night-time bottle of milkies, nothing unusual in that, when suddenly he announced 'Look Mummy, my winkle has gone big'' He was right, it had! My head scrambled for a responsible response, but all I could do was laugh and say 'You're right darling, why do you think that is?' he simply said 'I don't know'. Luckily, with his 2 second attention span, before I knew it his mind was back on the trials and tribulations of Fireman Sam and 'things' returned to normal, within minutes though, he was at it again........'Look Mummy, my winkle is not big' and proceeded to tug and pull in the most innocent, funny and endearing way. This is the start of a life long fascination for him no doubt!
My LittleG' was sat naked in the bath, nothing unusual in that, I thought he was just scratching his bottom, when he suddenly announced 'Mummy I have a hole'..........''Yes darling, it's your bottom hole''..... He spent a lot of time that bath time checking out this phenomenon.........by the time he was out of and almost dry from his bath - I was furiously Googling 'BBC - Parenting' for information, I mean, what's a first-time mum supposed to do????!!!

Oh My God - talking of boys..........................To cut a long story short - A certain Mr 'JimMcP' (an ex-fiance) and I spoke on the telephone earlier this evening (for the first time since about 1995). It was weirdly comforting to hear his voice, like putting on your of PJ's after a long hard day.........well, he has always been a 'jobbing actor', in fact we lived together in London above The Academy of Dramatic Arts (no, not the respected RADA, but some dodgy theatre in Whitechapel High Street!) and in the past he had small parts (oo er missus) in films such as Chariots of Fire.......Well, guess what.........he actually plays, amongst other things, Harry Potter's father in THE Goblet Of Fire movie! Er, yes, the 'proper' movie with The Daniel Radcliffe, David Tennant, Eric Sykes as well as being one of Jokers (Jack Nicholson) Henchmen in Batman Returns - I mean, how Cool is that!!! I was suitably (and superficially) impressed. Anyway, Mr 'Hot-Shot Actor' & I are going to get together soon for dinner - which is the least he can do really, as even at 19 I worked full time (Principals for Men, Regent St), and he part-time, so we could fund his Drama Course (actually, come to think of it, that was my idea too). Yeah! he owes me, big-time!!! Ooo, just think, if it wasn't for me blah blah blah......However it did amuse that he vividly remembers I used to sing 'Tom Jones's - What's New PussyCat to him. Sad bloke!! Hey, maybe he will ask me for my autograph? ;-)

The Sleeping Giant

It was a wonderful feeling over my New Year Break in Essex to be around those whom I hold so dear. On 31st December RuthieRoo cut Gabriel's first ever 'big-boy' haircut, it looked so gorgeous, I fell in Love with him, all over again, and it still, to this day makes me smile just looking at him. As the big hand struck 12 on New Year's Eve, I was happy, as happy as could be, my heart filled with joy. Doing Auld Lang Seyne with each of my arms around my own brothers was magical. We had Nicky&Nicky, Jack, Nathan, Isla and Gabriel all under the same roof, and a house full of music, laughter and warmth.

And to top things off, just after midnight I went home to Mum's house, to be there as she skipped in a little bit giggly, and doing that loud voice whilst whispering that only the drunk can really accomplish. I could have not asked for a more meaningful start to this BrandNewYear.

New Year's day I spent a few wonderfully peaceful hours with a 'MrPW' at the Crooked Billet in Leigh On Sea, Essex. A beautiful, fresh, sunny lunchtime. The light was gorgeous, the water looked calming. Peaceful and inspired......I felt a world away from the previous year, and 100 miles away from my cares - With a deep lung-filling breath of fresh air, I could finally let go of the past, and start stepping forward. The weight on my shoulders was swept away far into the sea, to drift away. Profoundly magical New Years Day contentment.

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January was a great month - already I feel lighter, light headed almost sometimes. Already I have had several potentially difficult challenges, which I feel I am dealing with in a more honest, direct, less fearful way than ever before. I feel like I have awoken my own 'SleepingGiant', and here I am, stretching out, wiggling my toes, re-feeling my limbs and mind become alive again, after a big big sleep. Feeling my power, feeling my life become mine all over again. It's pretty intoxicating.

*** Mum phoned me Tuesday (Jan 30th), following a routine visit to Southend Hospital to tell me she had just been diagnosed with Skin Cancer......bloody hell, I felt a cold chill of fear go through my entire body, that awful tunnelling vision when the whole world just disappears..... Cancer - perhaps one of the most frightening words in the English language. Of course I put the phone down and cried my eyes out, must have been the shock I guess, and the confirmation that life is so damn unpredictable.
'Basal Cell Carcinoma' -Thank goodness it's not as bad as it initally seemed, from what I have researched its a localised malignancy (can not spread to other parts of the body), and she will be treated soon. Once it is cut out, it is gone. The aftercare ensures she has follow-ups and checks each 3 months for at least 5 years. So, it's looking good. But, blimey, talk about putting things into persepective.

We Love You So Much Very Mum & Are All Here For You xx

One month down..........

........and eleven more to go until 2008, by the end of which this new journey shall be well underway, and my life, will be transformed to barely resemble what my eyes saw and my heart felt in 2006. I am thirty -six years old.

I have many hard lessons to learn this year, a few battles to fight and some tough decisions to stick to... but I now have the opportunity to re-shape my world into whatever I want it to become.

I can not know quite where this will all take me, so I will just tap away at my keyboard, as it happens, and all will be revealed.......................Come with me on this, my personal journey, and I'll explain all as we go along.....